untitled

dammit! alright! i had write alot about what has been on my mind.. then suddenly it all disappear! so! im gonna overwrite this again! well.. shit always happen sometimes.. errrr

sooo.. sometimes we lost ourselves, losing our mind.. staring the reflection in the mirror.. realised why we have to did this to ourselves.. being fear of every possibility that might comes... fear of society.. fear of moving on, fear of being you.. the best of you.. well its not easy to follow our heart tho.. then one day.. it might comes the day when you realise and regret of the decision which you should have take or decide in the past..
people can say anything... they can tell you what to do.. but in the end we dont live to please anybody.. instead of thinking why you're not good enough for everybody.. better start to be the best of you.. be gorgeous, be fabulous, be smart, be pretty, who are you not to be ? people might say you're naive, impossible.. so? lololol! whatever we do is never good enough for everybody anyway.. they will either like it or hate it.. dont give a shit about people who gives shit to you. people are just people and who are they to even judge you.. sometimes we tried so hard and keeps torturing ourselves in order to fulfill their fckn wish and hoping that they will like it. well. . . are you happy ? prolly nope.. pppphhhhhtttttttt im gonna sayy hellooooo f*ck yea society!! society kills! kills every the best things in you, yourself. f*ck discrimination. f*ck social grades, f*ck everything that make you feels like a loser. ok . im done. im talking like im losing my mind. rofl. well the point is.. take the positive point, let it be the reason for you to being motivated, whatever or how sucks it is..just keep remind yourself everyday that you're going to be amazing! cause you are born to be! yeah! umm.. keep in faith! welcome transformation, revolution, or whatever it is! *salute!

a'mateurpiece to be remembered before our graduation day :)

ENJOYYYY...... :)

writing

the arts about writing is you can pour out your feelings when you got speechless. its the things that you dont want anybody to know but you want them to feel it. even if how sucks your writing is, you just say whats on your mind, your heart, and you dont need any feedback.

hmm,..merupakan suatu kepuasan juga sih,,bisa mengungkapkan semua isi hati ke dalam tulisan..yahh bisa dibilang sedikit lebih lega..karna ga semua isi hati itu bisa diungkapkan secara oral..ga semua orang bisa menjadi pendengar yang baik juga..
yahh bisa dibilang nulis diary gitu kali yah. haha..

kadang abis nulis gue suka minder dan bertanya-tanya "apa sih yang gue tulis" tapi yasudahlah yaa.. seperti sekarang ini nih gue lagi ngerasain..hahhaah.. what the hell im talking about...??? ok i talk about writing. OKE mulai ga jelas. hati gundah gulana makanya nulis-nulis biar ga terhanyut dengan perasaan. HAHA. OUCHHH..!!!

emank susah ya kalo harus berpura-pura jadi kuat kalo emank lagi ga kuat.. gak gak kuat..gak kuatt.. #nyanyi. ya mau gimana lagi kan boi.. namanya hati itu ga bisa bohong..bisa sih gue ngelabui pura-pura seneng di depan orang-orang sekitar gue.. tapi gue ga bisa booong donk ama diri gue sendiri..dan masa iye gue musti ngasih tau ke orang-orang kalo gue lagi sedih,,so lameee.. ya pengennya sih, when i say im fine, im okay, i want someone to hug me and say 'i know you are not okay'. HAHAHAHAAH cicieeekieuwww... ngimpi kali yee...HAHAHA... apaan sihh floo... !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@

yasudahlah ya.. noh kan dari omongin apa jadi melenceng kemana ini topik. nah enaknya gini nih kalo writing itu let it flow ajahh,,follow the flow.. eaaaa... berasa ngobrol-ngobrol ama diri sendiri gitu deh,, tapi fun kok. hahaha

yasudahlah okebyeee...

im dying inside.

hi.. I'm back!
its been a while..
hmm.. i dont know why.. i couldnt sleep and feels like wanna write something to my blog at this hour..its 04.32 AM here..

well.. do you ever feel like you are so alone eventhough you were surrounded by many people.. hmm.. i feel a bit sensitive lately... theres come a point that i wanna cry for no reason sometimes...
i think about people i love, but do they feel the same? actually i dont expect them to do the same towards me.. i understand that people change and theres always a reason for them to change, i live alone here.. hmm... not alone actually.. but i live far from my family.. and i have a family here.. friends that i choose to be my family.. i dont know what is friggin wrong.. i feel strange.. something is changing and you dont even friggin know how to expressed that. thats upset. i feel so WEAK ! GEEZ! so FRAGILE! i find it hard to describe this by words. help me for godsake.



i love all my friends.. i love to make them happy even if i have to be silly just to make them laugh (thats what are friends for). but please do respect me sometimes. dont come and go as you like only when you need me. sometimes i feel like being mistreated,misplaced & misunderstood just like Pink. #justsaying

i love you brother,but please be a lil bit mature and stop making your parents worry bout you. just take my positive words and dont tell me to shut the f up. that's so rude. i feels like crying!

lovely daddy, please stop accusing me by doing something negative, you know i took care of myself really well, i party, i drunk but im not addicting to drugs or get a one night stand with other guys like my other friends did. i know you are tired and i understand how you feel..but just pleaseee..dont involve me and blaming me because of your son.. you know it upsets me.. :'( dont make me think if it has no differences between doing nothing and something.
i love you daddy..

sometimes i think that i better be alone and it will be much better if i dont care about anything or anybody, the less you care the less you will get hurt.. who the hell cares bout you, God is all you need, but im just a human with a feeling & mind, i cant put all my feelings aside to be happy and to erase my mind & forget like it didnt happened. but through all the experiences, the problems, i dont wanna seem so weak..im sure i will be much wiser, stronger than i am right now. this heart has been played and abused but see? it still works.

it is a lesson for me to be a goodfriends, siblings and a parents later on, because i have put my shoes on.

- life is a journey, sad but true.

just a random letters to J'daddy

there's a time i wondered my life in You...

its all...about...5W 1H..

Who..
What..
Where...
When...
Why...

and...

How..

who i belong to..of course i belong to You..
whats the purpose in my life? is it You..? do you really planned it for me? (hmm.. but i have no doubt in You, just a humanity thought..)
where is the ...

errrmm.. laptop battery drained... to be continued//

I LOVE YOU DADDY, MOMMY

Dad, Mom..
I miss you both..
you're the best gift i ever had from God.
I thank God for giving me a parents like you.. where there is a chance for me to lives, to feel your love and care.
thanks for all the efforts you did for me to took care of me, to provide me, to taught me.. now, ive seen the world and i just knew if you,family which i need the most, which i love the most.. I MISS AND LOVE YOU DAD,MOM ! :'(

love love love is it love ?

you know what love is,
first you act silly and the world became so blueee alias galau...
then what you wanna do is to hearing from them and once you got their texts, you will jumped off from the bed and scream aloud like an idiot and smile all day long, you will always re-read his texts or bbm! ROTFL!!!! you always wish him to text you first. when he didnt text you then you started to think "OH CHEESE & FRIES!! HE'S NOT THAT INTO ME :( there you are! the galau attack!! LOL!"

well according to my point of view..hmmm lets compare and see the fact..
i think.. nowadays there are so many girls are became more aggresive than a men, maybe this is what they called "emansipasi wanita" but i dont think thats a good way to get his attention, and i dont think i should be one of them, i think a girl should be treated as a princess/queen LOL. if a men really into you then he will show their effort to get your attention. agree?? just wait him to find you,well.. im not talking about pride, but sometimes we really gotta sacrifice what we feel and start to use our little brain. think real and dont be such a naive. well..to be honest.. ive been sacrifice my feeling though.. :P you know i once got crushed to someone when i first met him... i dont know if im just admiring or real into him, when we both text to each other..i just reply as simple as it is.. i dont know what had happened to me that time..i just blank and dont know what to say.. LOL. i tested this feeling and try to put aside this damn blue/galau but still he really drives my curiousity. could you imagine that we didnt get in touch with each other but i still keep having my crush on him? lol. stupid me. but im still stand in the box, i know my ability, i think its impossible to have him though. :P so i just hiding myself and watch him from a distance.. lalalala.. you can call me 'his secret admirer or whatever' haha.. oohh stop it floo..!! thats kinda disgusting! lol..well you see?? i just told you to stop being naive but im the one who is naive!! NAHH !! i dont really know what love is but i think THATS A LOT LIKE LOVE! but still.. i wont let myself to catch them instead of let them to catch me. Girls! remember this quoutes " if you love them then set them free, if they come back to you then he is yours! but if he didnt then its not meant to be!
CIAO <3 XOXO :P

THE 5 PILLARS OF MANHOOD (HOW MEN SHOULD LOVE & RESPECT WOMEN)

WE NEED MEN OF GOD WHO WILL LOVE & RESPECT WOMEN OF FAITH...NEXT STOP "MANHOOD"

I spent the day with a group of men in our house church learning what it takes to be a man of God when it comes to loving and respecting women. In our day an age most men are not men, they are boys. Most guys still want to marry their mom, have a women serve and take care of them, are not willing to take initiative or commit in a relationship, most men are still living in fear, not pursuing their callings by settling for “safe” because its easy. This is sad, upsetting and the standard must change.

Women don’t want to marry boys, they want to marry men. Women don’t want boys they have to put up with, clean up after and take care of, they want to be lead, pursued and taken on an exciting life adventure. If you go to most of the churches in the Western world today, you will find that there are very few spiritual men, instead there are many spiritual women. It’s disappointing, but I hear it from women of faith all the time, “Pastor Jaeson, where are the godly men?”

Today, a good brother and leader in our GBS community Daniel Ra explained what God showed him to be the “5 Pillars of Manhood” in how men must love, respect and serve women. It was enlightening and reinforcing from what I have been teaching men for years when it comes to pursuing a woman of God… of course none of us are perfect, we all have our mistakes, but we must each strive to be better and greater than what we were before yesterday, everyday making an effort to be more like God, to be just like Jesus, to be a man of faith and honor.

The 5 Pillars of Manhood…

1. Lead - A man must be a leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead in the relationship. A man must take initiative. A man of God is leader, not a follower, a servant, not a slave, a hero not a coward. A man of God knows God and therefore knows himself. He should be the leader spiritually first, emotionally, mentally and physically he should set the standard for others to follow.

2. Protect - A real man of God will protect his partner. That means he is willing to lay down his very own life, needs and wants for the protection of the one he loves. Every decision he makes when it comes to a relationship has her protection in mind. A woman needs to feel secure, that she is protected and safe with her man. She doesn’t need to second guess, wonder if she will be okay, or have her heart and mind played with. A real man of God will not only protect his woman physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He always has the highest good in his mind for her safety, well being and wholeness. This is for the Christian guys out there, don’t emotionally rape a sister, play with her heart and tell her you are just her brother or friend. That is BS. Man up. You either pursue a woman of God because she is God’s precious creation, or you don’t try touching it at all, or play with their hearts emotionally, unless you are willing to be up front and clear with your intentions and the direction of the relationship from the start. Emotional rape is as painful to a woman as physical rape. Women are emotional beings and their hearts are not to be played with. Protect your sisters heart.

3. Provide – A real man of God will do whatever it takes to provide for his significant other. That means monetarily in finances, in basic needs and as well as what she desires. When a man asks a father for his daughter in marriage, the father will not ask, “How are you doing spiritually first?” No, the first thing the father will ask is, “How will you provide for my daughter?” Because part of being and becoming a man is providing for others, especially your wife and children. If a man can’t provide, he isn’t a man. God gave us hands and we must put our hands to work, no excuses to be lazy, God made us to rule the earth. Women are not be treated as toys, trophies or a luxury item, women are God’s highest creation, the very image of God.

I tell men all the time, “Treat your woman like a queen and you will live like a king.” Don’t be cheap brothers, you need to go all out when it comes to pursuing a woman. This is not a one time thing, but a continual practice. Women were created for beauty. They were created beautiful, to feel beautiful to be treated beautiful. You don’t handle a rose without care, it is the same with a woman of God, you treat her with the utmost care, honor and respect. Practically, that means you don’t take a woman to Denny’s on a first date, you take her to a place that hurts your wallet, but it’s worth it because she is worthy.

Also, men must also provide for women emotionally. When a women asks you, “How are you doing?” She is really asking, “How are you being?” Meaning, what are you feeling, thinking, seeing, being about at the moment. To love a women we must provide at every level – basic needs all the way to providing for them mentally, emotionally and spiritually, if not their hearts will die. Be a man, provide for your women.

4. Integrity – A true man of God is a man of his word. Too many men in our culture break promises, play with women’s hearts, date girls as if it was a game, and have no respect for women at all. This is disgusting. In old times, when a man said “You have my word!” that word was bond, it was as if an actual contract had been written, because your word was your reputation. How many men do we know today who say one thing, but do another? Men who do not keep their word, their promise or follow through with their verbal commitments. In our culture we don’t take words seriously, but in God’s world words are everything. Blessings and curses come out of the same mouth. What comes out of our mouths determines what is truly in our hearts.

What a woman wants is a man of integrity. Someone who says what he does and does what he says. Someone they can trust at their word. So as a man you must come through. Words means nothing if they are not backed up with action. Don’t say sorry unless you mean it. Don’t say sorry unless you are able to back up your apologies with doing the right thing. Integrity is doing what is right, whether people are watching or not. Integrity is what you do when no one is looking. Does your woman trust you completely? If not, it is a question of integrity. Don’t tell a women you love her unless your love shows, words carry weight. They either carry false weight or real weight, a woman knows when a man means what he says.

So live by your words, live by action, be a living proof of your values, convictions and commitments. Don’t get involved in a relationship unless you are sure this what you want and what God is leading you both to do. I’ve had my share of mistakes in the past, where I got into a relationship without thinking about the consequences, protecting my sisters heart and the fear of the Lord from the get go, I’ve had to make amends and face the results of my sin and foolishness. Trust me brothers, don’t do what I’ve done in the past, don’t play games, don’t feed your fleshly desires, rather seek God, seek the best interest of the one you are pursuing, be honest, forthright from the start about your commitment and your vision for the relationship and stick to your word. Be a man of integrity.

If you pursue a women, it should be with the intentions of marriage. If not, stop playing yourself and her. It’s not about finding the right woman, it’s about being the right man. That starts with first knowing God in order to know yourself, then you will know how to love and respect a woman.

5) Courage - You are not a man until you climb the great wall of China! This is what it says at the actual great wall. Well, I have climbed the Great Wall of China so I guess I must be more of a man than others, just kidding. What is the greater underlying message here? It is a message of courage. It is a message of adventure. A man of God is a man of courage, a man of adventure, a man who is willing to take risks and do the impossible. Men were born to live a life of great adventure. Men were created to fight battles. Men were created to rescue beauties. Men were created to live.

Sadly, most men are not living. Most men are cowards, fearful and afraid of failure. Imprisoned by their own thinking and what others think about them. Many men are just boys waiting for their mother’s approval, or the approval of others in society. Most men I know are people pleasers, not God pleasers. They are more afraid of how others may reject them or not accept them if they choose to take the road less traveled.

All men die, few men truly live.

Women don’t want nice guys or good boys, women want men on a mission, men on adventure, men who are dangerous. This is why many women are drawn to bad boys because bad boys live with a sense of risk, danger, mystery and unknown. Men were created to live fearless and to live by faith. But if you walk into a church today what you find are a bunch of boys playing with their toys, working at predictable jobs — not their true callings, and living boring lives. It’s sad, but most guys get their sense of adventure from playing video games or watching TV, what happened to our men?

A man of faith will sweep a woman of God off of her feet. He will challenge her to go the distance in God, in their relationship and in life. A man of courage is someone who in the face of fear still chooses to move forward with trust in God, setting out to obey God’s voice at whatever the cost, because that is what matters the most. We need men who have hearts fully alive, hearts full of passion and are on a mission to change the world. There is a high cost to being a man of courage, there is a price to pay if we want to be a real hero, it means we are willing to go against the grain, follow God against all odds and live a life of honor, courage and righteousness.

When a woman finds a man of courage, it will encourage her to be all that God has created her to be. As a man, your goal is not how your woman can serve you, but how can you serve your woman? As a man, your goal is not how a woman can serve your destiny, but how can you do all that you possibly can to release the fullness of God’s glory and destiny in her.

Men take the lead, protect at all costs, provide in every way, live by your word and live a life of adventure with the Holy Spirit — obey God, not man and you will be the man of God you were created to be — and your woman will love you for it.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

BY : JAESON MA (www.jaesonma.com)

All the points he mentioned is somebody I would like to marry in the future! =)

a letter for beloved Grandma

suddenly,i miss a figure of my Grandma..
i dont know whats bring my mind to her,
i cried like a baby.. missing her.. I miss her so much..
she's the best i ever had as my Grandma,,
she's very good in cooking, i love and miss her homemade food especially her homemade bakcang and otak-otak..
so sad if i couldnt taste her homemade food anymore..
i never forget how she treat and babysitting me when i was a kid.
when i think of her, this tears just wont stop and it successfully make my heart broke into pieces.
every words that she said to me is still deeply remain in my mind and truly saved in my heart.
i miss the time when i visit her at hospital, she asked me, "awen, u've grown up and u got a long hair now, did u come with your boyfriend?" i laugh but inside im dying. i said, "no, i came here alone and i have no boyfriend". she staring at me and she seems very hard to breath". all of us know that she will go and even the Doctor said if her condition is very poor and wont be lasting for 2-3 months.
i know that she's afraid and pessimist with her illness. none of us have the courage to tell her the truth. everyone are assured her if she's gonna be okay.
everytime i visited her, she always ask me the same question.. "who brought u here? boyfriend??"
sighh...
when i was there,i always gave her a massage and feed her everytime.. she always said "sighhh, poor me..im gonna die soon" but i always try to encouraging her "no grandma, u r okay, u r going to be fine, u just need some rest and have the medicine. come on grandma i miss ur otak2 and bakcang, promise me that ure gonna be fine and cook some delicious food for me."
then she told me if she is recover, she will cook some and send to jakarta. she told me if she's gonna celebrate her birthday and cook ayam kampung which is her favorite dishes and she wants to invite all her relatives".
before i go back to jakarta, i tell her "grandma, u will keep ur promises, if u will fight for ur life and will recover soon, so we gonna celebrate ur birthday and u will cook for me". she totally agree and say... 'remember what i say, be a good girl'
i say yes and quickly turn my back and wipe off my tears."
then i go back to jakarta, for just a month, suddenly my dad ring me and said "she's gone" i quickly booked the ticket to get back to hometown. arrive in rumah duka and i dont want to walk in, i just stay outside the rumah duka but everyone insist me to see her for the last time. i walk in and i see her photograph, i couldnt bear my tears, i thought im strong but i cried hard enough and said "why all of u insist me to see this! she is gone! i am mad with her! she promise me if she will recover, celebrate her birthday and cook for me!! then everyone's crying when they heard what i just said..

i dont know why, till this day, everytime i remembered her, i will still cry and feel kinda mad but maybe im mad with myself because i miss her so much.....

Dear beloved Grandma...
i wonder how r u there..
i will not forget u and i will always think of you..
i adore u so much and i miss the time when i rub your back and give u a massage and u said u like it,
each words that you spoke to me will always remain in my heart...
im sorry if im mad to myself because im still remember our promises,
im sorry if i cant accept the fact that you are gone too soon,
im sorry if i didnt know how u feel when you are hardly fight with your illness..
now, i realise if you must be happy there, because you wouldnt feel the pain anymore,, but all i want to say is "I always think of you, I miss your homemade food and I Love you and i am proud to have you as my Grandma, because of you i learned how to cherish a life and love my family especially my daddy and mom."

thank you so much Grandma..
from ur beloved grandchildren (awen)

Pesta Blogger + Empowered by Acer

Hari Sabtu kemarin tanggal 30 OKtober 2010 gw dan teman-teman dateng ke Pesta Blogger+ (baca pesta blogger plus) di Epicentrum Walk, Rasuna Said, Kuningan. Kebetulan banget gw dan yang lain belom pernah jalan ke sana, jadi bisa sekalian liat-liat. Pesta Blogger taon ini sponsor utamanya adalah Acer dan Kedubes AS. Gw nyampe disana sektiar jam 10 pagi, dimana acaranya masih acara menyanyikan lagu Indonesia Raya. kemudian kita langsung melakukan registrasi dengan membayar sebesar 50ribu rupiah dan mendapat id dan goodie bag serta voucher lunch dan snack.

Pesta Blogger uda mulai diselenggarakan tahun 2007. Pesta Blogger menjadi ajang kumpul-kumpul, sharing dan menjaring koneksi baru bagi para netizen, bukan hanya terbatas buat blogger semata, tp uda mulai terbuka buat siapa pun yang aktif secara online, baik melalui social media, forum, komunitas online dan lain sebagainya karena semakin berkembangnya dunia online dewasa ini. Maka dari itu tema dari Pesta Blogger+ tahun ini adalah "merayakan keragaman"

Para peserta Pesta Blogger+ sangat banyak dan datang dari berbagai daerah di Indonesia, ada yang dari Makassar, Lampung, Yogyakarta dan daerah lainnya.
trus kita ketemu nih ama blogger dari Yogyakarta dan gw lupa siapa namanya..hihi maap ya mas, =P

sembari si william dan rico sedang berbincang-bincang dengan blogger yg berasal dari yogyakarta, gw juga ngikut nguping nih..hehee

trus kita juga foto-foto di booth USEmbassy, disitu kita disuruh follow twitternya @USembassyjkt dan like fanpage USembassy di facebook.. :)


temen2 juga pasti penasaran kan apa saja isi goodie bagnya?? hoho..ini ada potonya..



ini cap buat masuk ke acara pesta blogger.


ini salah satu penyelenggara pesta blogger yang diwawancara sama reporter SCTV

ya kira2 begitulah acara pesta blogger berlangsung.. :)


sekian dulu posting acara blogger kmaren, moga acara pesta blogger tahun depan bakal lebih seru dan rame yah.. :)

We need someone (or whatever you named it)

neither of u and i, we need someone,
whether we noticed or not, how often we create and make some list of our expectations about "someone".
first of all, im gonna say 'it is okay to list all of our expectations, it means that we own our standard which is help us to define what we need and what we want'

this is true story, "a list of our expectations about someone" xoxo =D
- i wish someone is handsome/ beautiful,
- Smarter than me,
- Taller than me,
- financial stability, ahaaa
- promising employment/position,
- own houses/apartment
- own car,
- own lotta money, money and money.

we wish that someone is qualify to our expectations.

but, have you ever think that all of our expectations is all about status ? pride ? or something ? LOL.. xD

well, lets say and review the fact.. as we heard before,so many story behind a success people, family / a relationships that seems perfect in front of so many peoples, they own everything and they got what they want.. this is what u see. however, do they happy and how do you know if they're succeed with their marriage or relationship? some of them might be succeed but some of them might be ended up their relationship. :) my question is WHY they ended up? *kepo mode on*

unfortunately something across on my mind, it whispering me..(lol! kiddin)
i ask to myself, how i define "HAPPINESS" ??
we all know, Happiness is when our life meet our expectations. rite? but are you sure with that statement ?
here it is, a common mindset from all people around the world. *CHEERS*
"HAPPINESS IS MONEY AND THE EXCEPTION IS MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING BUT EVERYTHING NEED MONEY" IF U WANNA BE HAPPY, SO GET MUCH MONEY" That is SO TRUE. money is not gonna expired and endless. everyone wants money, its stupid and sanctimonious if u dont want money. LMAO.

obviously, money is also a problem why a relationship won't work.
because to fulfill ur expectations, ur partner dont know how to value "quality time" did they have time for that? noo, they have no time for u, they work,work,work, and lifes become boring huh..? they dont even know how to enjoy their hardwork and time, it must be balance, Work Hard-Play Hard. So u started to complaint and say "ALL I NEED IS YOU, YOUR TIME" huh? CRAPP!!!



Actually, who we really need is Someone who can spend their time and value their relationship more than anything, someone to understand what is 'quality time'. someone can make us feel comfortable, laugh, caring each other and a shoulder for us to rely when we're down, a person who is able to accept u for who u are and not for what u are. if u notice, Truelove never expect anything but to accept everything whether its good or bad. complementary each other, someone who is never get bored with 'real' you. someone who can make u feel perfect when ure with them, imagine,, how precious if u found someone like this, it is very uneasy to find, but if u already got someone u need, i think ur grateful must beyond everything. it must be awesomee rite?

sometimes what we want is not what we need.
life is like a wheel and it is fluctuative. we dont know what is going to happen tomorrow, the rich can be poor, the poor can be rich, the weak can be strong, the strong can be weak. nobody can predict life, it just happen and out of ur reach.
So, expect less from others, life is hard, people can change whatever and whenever they want to, So we gotta find someone who is able to accept the real u and not gonna change even if the fact that we are not good enough than others.

Inner and Outer Beauty

Kata orang cantik itu relative yang penting hati.. tapi apa benar statement ini masih berlaku.. pada kenyataannya tidak semua orang mengerti apa yang dinamakan cantik. Buktinya ni ya teman2.. yang sering tanpa kita sadari , kita suka menilai seseorang dari penampilannya, betul kan? Penilaian pada pandangan pertama dari mana? Dari penampilan fisik juga toh.. faktanya orang yang cantik secara fisik itu lebih utamakan,, dan hal itu udah ga asing lagi deh.. inner beauty seseorang bisa di lihat setelah melewati suatu komunikasi, penampilan hanyalah bagaikan bungkusan kado yang belum diketahui isi yang ada didalam bungkusan tersebut.
Menjadi cantik siapa sih yang nggak mau..setiap perempuan pasti menginginkan dirinya diberikan anugerah kecantikan yang sempurna dari Tuhan, menjadi cantik dan menjadi perhatian orang. Masing2 orang memiliki jawaban yang berbeda dan itu kembali kepada sejauh mana orng tersebut menilai arti sebuah kecantikan.
Sering kita dengar kalau inner beauty yaitu kecantikan yang berasal dari dalam, sudah jelas bahwa kecantikan memang bukan saja melihat secantik apa wajah kita, tubuh kita, tp kecantikan dari dalam dapat mendongkrak sisi terburuk yg kita miliki.
Kecantikan tidak dapat dinilai dari satu sudut pandang saja, melainkan dari banyak segi sudut pandang. kecantikan adalah perpaduan dari keindahan lahiriah dan batiniah, keindahan lahiriah tanpa keindahan batiniah akan terasa hambar jika tidak diseimbangi.
Patut untuk disadari bahwa outer beauty tidak akan abadi, namun inner beauty adalah abadi dan it sparks everywhere. “TETAP LAH PERCAYA DIRI WALAU SIAPAPUN DIRI KAMU” cantik tanpa percaya diri akan menjadi hambar. Percaya diri walau tidak cantik itu yang menarik dan akan menjadi menarik! Maka dari itu jadilah bahagia! kita sebagai perempuan akan memancarkan sisi kecantikan dalam diri kita, bagaimana untuk menjadi bahagia? Gampang kok… dengan cara bersyukur aja kita akan merasakan bahagia. =)

shopping babe

actually it was yesterday and i tried to post but too bad my internet connection was just a crack. sigh..
however, yesterday i went to shopping at mangdu with my fellas "rence,olip,catherine,djai" we had a lotta fun, we eat,saloon-ing, and shop till broke. lol. anyway, im suppose to post because of the tasks of PR-online, so i'll post anything i want to post. LMAO.. keep visit my blog, will u? xoxo =)

Happy B'day & Happy Father's day to MY LOVELY DADDY!!!

I cant explain nowadays i always dream about u daddy, This afternoon you had called and told me something, i really know how you feel and i cant bear my tears when i hang up the phone, I wanna tell u, Daddy, i really love you and i really wanna make you proud, i really wanna make u happy! whatever it takes and no matter how hard it is I really have desire to make u happy !!



Daddy, Every year, your birthday reminds me how grateful I am that you are my father.
Throughout the years, you’ve worked so hard to provide us a happy life,
You’ve been there to help and give advice and you did it all without strife.

A dad who fulfills all his duties,
I want you to know, you're with me in spirit wherever I go.
You may have thought I didn't see or that I hadn't heard Life lessons that you taught to me But I got every word.
Perhaps you thought I missed it all and that we'd grow apart. But Dad, I picked up everything, It's written on my heart.

Without you, Dad, I wouldn't be
The woman I am today. You built a strong foundation that No one can take away.
I've grown up with your values and I'm very glad I did.

My father is essential to My life and happiness.
My feelings are so strong for him,
My heart cannot express.
There's so much more about my dad that I would like to say,
But now I'll end by saying to you Dad,
That is why on this day each year, I pray all your wishes come true..
Today we celebrate your life, Happy birthday and Happy Fathers day to the best dad I know, A father I love and respect.



A pray for Lovely Daddy..
Lord, please bless our fathers,
these men who mean so much to us,
who are greatly responsible
for who we are and who we are becoming.
Bless them for having the courage
to do what’s necessary to keep us out of trouble,
for making us do the right thing,
for helping us build our character,
even when it makes us angry;
and bless them for pushing us to do our best,
even when they just want to love us.
Bless our fathers for being our protectors,
for leading us through stormy times to safety,
for making us believe that everything will be all right
and for making it so.
Bless our fathers for quietly making a living
to provide for those they love most,
for giving us food, clothing, shelter
and other necessary and not so necessary material things,
for unselfishly investing time and money in us
that they could have spent on themselves.
Bless our fathers, Lord,
for saving some energy for fun,
for leading us on adventures
to explore the outer reaches of ourselves,
for making us laugh,
for being our playmates and our friends.
Bless them for being our secure foundation, our rock,
for holding on tight to us...until it’s time to let us go.
Lord, bless these men we look up to,
our role models, our heroes,
our fathers.
In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen

imperfection

Nothing is better than to just be ourself. We think, we try to make ourself as good as we wanna be and its just because we want everybody to keep on eye on our look, our appearance, neither a women or a men, everybody wanna look fabulous, isnt it ? as the time goes by,we might be realise that its not a necessary anymore, as a human we are far from perfect but our imperfection is not an Alibi for us to not to keep develop ourself. its a human nature if most of us appraise a person by their appearance, we live in this truly realistic world..agree? yes just admit it. :) ok, the point i talk about imperfection is because i just realised that actually, i dont have to force myself so hard to satisfy others opinion bout me..,hmm.. its their choice if they couldnt accept and its not my fault.. i try to be the best and i must be good for sure, but i must know my ability.. one thing, the truly beauty is inside us not just outside..Afterall, i just need to be with a person that could accept my imperfection, which is a person that could make me feel perfect when that person and I together as one and say 'hey im not seeking for a perfect person but a person that could make me feel perfect because she/he is my precios one'. sweet! isnt it? so why we try so hard to be somebody else ? =) Im sure God will send me The One, lets wait for His time and let His will be done. He know us better than ourself. Im His beloved daughter, His Precious. Love u Papah JC.

My dumbness

i remembered when my friend said 'FLO UR LIFE SEEMS VERY COMPLICATED' hmm.. i smile at him without saying anything, but im started to think that "hell yeah my life is complicated" i even dont know what should i do. ive been thinking always how could i succeed, i just wanna make a better life, but as always Im a followers, i realise that i should make a transform but still i dont know how to interpret it. everybody thought i dont care about my own life, my future, my family.. ooops..ure totally have the wrong idea about me, ive cried and everyday im trying to find out how to be a thinkers and stop to being a followers, hmm im trying to be assertive.. nobody knows, nobody cares, this is my life, everybody keep giving me advice but see?? afterall they left me without saying any words, i just dont know why a person could lift u up, inspiring, motivating but they also could leave pain inside u without a reason. u know what ? it hurts. ive failed so many times to manage my life, but i have no doubt, i believe i will be what i wanna be. because i know i can and just need some effort, dreams will be true because we chase for it right? hmm.. i dont know why nowadays im feelin so blue and ive made some stupid things.. i hope life could be better each and everyday.. in other thought, i need someone to lead me, to lean on when im down but that someone has gone because of my stupidity to not listen to his words. im sorry and i just wanna wish u well. well, as always regret always come late after we realise it..