Thursday, September 8, 2011

writing


the arts about writing is you can pour out your feelings when you got speechless. its the things that you dont want anybody to know but you want them to feel it. even if how sucks your writing is, you just say whats on your mind, your heart, and you dont need any feedback.

hmm,..merupakan suatu kepuasan juga sih,,bisa mengungkapkan semua isi hati ke dalam tulisan..yahh bisa dibilang sedikit lebih lega..karna ga semua isi hati itu bisa diungkapkan secara oral..ga semua orang bisa menjadi pendengar yang baik juga..
yahh bisa dibilang nulis diary gitu kali yah. haha..

kadang abis nulis gue suka minder dan bertanya-tanya "apa sih yang gue tulis" tapi yasudahlah yaa.. seperti sekarang ini nih gue lagi ngerasain..hahhaah.. what the hell im talking about...??? ok i talk about writing. OKE mulai ga jelas. hati gundah gulana makanya nulis-nulis biar ga terhanyut dengan perasaan. HAHA. OUCHHH..!!!

emank susah ya kalo harus berpura-pura jadi kuat kalo emank lagi ga kuat.. gak gak kuat..gak kuatt.. #nyanyi. ya mau gimana lagi kan boi.. namanya hati itu ga bisa bohong..bisa sih gue ngelabui pura-pura seneng di depan orang-orang sekitar gue.. tapi gue ga bisa booong donk ama diri gue sendiri..dan masa iye gue musti ngasih tau ke orang-orang kalo gue lagi sedih,,so lameee.. ya pengennya sih, when i say im fine, im okay, i want someone to hug me and say 'i know you are not okay'. HAHAHAHAAH cicieeekieuwww... ngimpi kali yee...HAHAHA... apaan sihh floo... !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@

yasudahlah ya.. noh kan dari omongin apa jadi melenceng kemana ini topik. nah enaknya gini nih kalo writing itu let it flow ajahh,,follow the flow.. eaaaa... berasa ngobrol-ngobrol ama diri sendiri gitu deh,, tapi fun kok. hahaha

yasudahlah okebyeee...

im dying inside.



hi.. I'm back!
its been a while..
hmm.. i dont know why.. i couldnt sleep and feels like wanna write something to my blog at this hour..its 04.32 AM here..

well.. do you ever feel like you are so alone eventhough you were surrounded by many people.. hmm.. i feel a bit sensitive lately... theres come a point that i wanna cry for no reason sometimes...
i think about people i love, but do they feel the same? actually i dont expect them to do the same towards me.. i understand that people change and theres always a reason for them to change, i live alone here.. hmm... not alone actually.. but i live far from my family.. and i have a family here.. friends that i choose to be my family.. i dont know what is friggin wrong.. i feel strange.. something is changing and you dont even friggin know how to expressed that. thats upset. i feel so WEAK ! GEEZ! so FRAGILE! i find it hard to describe this by words. help me for godsake.



i love all my friends.. i love to make them happy even if i have to be silly just to make them laugh (thats what are friends for). but please do respect me sometimes. dont come and go as you like only when you need me. sometimes i feel like being mistreated,misplaced & misunderstood just like Pink. #justsaying

i love you brother,but please be a lil bit mature and stop making your parents worry bout you. just take my positive words and dont tell me to shut the f up. that's so rude. i feels like crying!

lovely daddy, please stop accusing me by doing something negative, you know i took care of myself really well, i party, i drunk but im not addicting to drugs or get a one night stand with other guys like my other friends did. i know you are tired and i understand how you feel..but just pleaseee..dont involve me and blaming me because of your son.. you know it upsets me.. :'( dont make me think if it has no differences between doing nothing and something.
i love you daddy..

sometimes i think that i better be alone and it will be much better if i dont care about anything or anybody, the less you care the less you will get hurt.. who the hell cares bout you, God is all you need, but im just a human with a feeling & mind, i cant put all my feelings aside to be happy and to erase my mind & forget like it didnt happened. but through all the experiences, the problems, i dont wanna seem so weak..im sure i will be much wiser, stronger than i am right now. this heart has been played and abused but see? it still works.

it is a lesson for me to be a goodfriends, siblings and a parents later on, because i have put my shoes on.

- life is a journey, sad but true.